My husband left on July 3rd for a month long training program. He and I have and will continue to have extremely limited communication throughout the month. We have no ability to communicate through email or snail-mail. 8 days into the program, he and I have spoken on the phone twice for a collective 10 minutes or so.
I was very proud of myself because I only cried once the day that he left. Admittedly, he left at 3am, so they were more tears of exhaustion than tears of sadness.
Today, I am incredibly grateful for my wonderful – if absent – husband. I am grateful for this opportunity; it will change our lives for the better and put my husband in the position to pursue the career of his dreams. I am overwhelmingly grateful for the faithful friends who have shown my a lot of attention, care, and grace in the past 8 days.
All of that being said, I really miss my husband. He and I are an amazing fit and a really good team. That’s not to say that we don’t have our faults as a couple, but we are about to complete our 7th year together and – in my humble opinion – over the past 7 years we have grown into a strong, passionate, and very happy couple.
A friend and Rabbi recently gave me a card with Chesed written on. Chesed – steadfast love and kindness. She told me that this was how I loved – loyally. I knew she was right as I read her kind words, but it is always nice to learn the right word to accurately express a feeling. It is a strength that Husband and I are able to be apart for so long. It is because we love each other this way – with loyalty and kindness – that we can continue to love each other and support each other from a distance.
However, that doesn’t change that I would prefer him to be home, if there were a way to have him with me without sacrificing the career opportunity. I miss his making coffee in the morning. I miss his voice; he always says “dinner time” in the same intonation when he brings the rabbits their food. I miss him being affectionate; he’s more physically affectionate than I am and will randomly grab me for a hug as I’m walking through a room. I miss how I feel when he’s around. I feel more complete and my mind is a little bit quieter when he’s home.
But you know what I miss the most as more time passes?
I miss his Husband-ness, the “thing” that makes him uniquely my Husband. I miss his presence. He’s such a quiet and patient soul, but he can rant and rave with the best of them. I miss the cadence with which he approaches a day.
I will be very thankful to have him home again.