A Phone Call

This post falls into the category of Blog-Therapy for me. This is the modern-day corollary to Talk-Therapy and the concept that originally drew me to the idea of blogging. As I say on the About page of this blog, I receive a lot of phone calls every day. Many of these are the sort of conversations that end with me resting my forehead on my desk, while muttering questions to myself like, “Am I the only one who receives phone calls like this?” In an attempt to get an answer to that very question, I have a phone call to tell y’all about.

Well, in this case, it wasn’t a phone call, per se, but rather a voicemail.

Hello, this is (name withheld), uh Salvation Army, I’m a psychiatrist. Umm, evidently the religions have picked me up again. I am the first White House Caroline Kennedy or Theresa Kennedy or April Monroe. My mother is Marilyn Monroe who went on to be Jackie Bouvier Kennedy. And my father is John F. Kennedy who went on to be Castro.

Um, we have some kind of religious worship. I am getting the Popes and the Vaticans and different things. I’m baptized at the White House in 1956 by the uh French Catholic Pope John Paul 1. So was my mother and so was my step-father Howard Hughes. Um, I’m not quite sure where they’re going. They’re trying to make us follow the Clinton and Gores and Chelsea Clinton and Patricia Nixon and so forth.

You know I don’t know if these people were religious before they died, but they sure as hell don’t know how to follow it after death. So any help you could give us in moving some Jewish people in here. Because like I say I’m half German Jew through my mother and French Catholic by my father.

I mean, I’ve seen many churches go under. And that’s what’s were watching now. We’re at the end of something either Armageddon, which was over the 12th day of the 12th month of the 12th year. And that’s been like 6 or 7 and we’re supposed to rebuild. But somewhere these hillbillies have gotten partial Bible and think it’s going to last the rest of our lives.

So any help you can give us in this area would be much appreciated.

And like I say, they’ve picked me up and there’s nothing I can do but try to stay alive here from them. And like I say I’ve had experienced with the Vaticans and things falling before. But I think you’ve got an inexperienced one at the helm and that’s the Venezuelan one. And it takes many many years to know what they’re trying to do here.

So any help you could give us would be appreciated at the (name withheld) and that’s in (town withheld). 

And um I trained at Popular Springs up in (town name withheld). And, um, that – It’s Marthadye (sp?) religion. Which I was Jesus Christ for Marthadye religion. That’s a female to male and mostly a woman’s religion. And, um, to go into office, I was injected to death. And that’s the heavens that I got to. They keep calling the city of Marthadye our habit and that’s the inner home of G-d. You know, they’re puffy, they’re all over the place. So you know If we could get them over the Marthadye, make them start forgetting, you know, maybe we could shape or form a G-d or a Jesus or a Christ that you could follow. But with whose running the helm right now, the only thing we have right now is just ruination. So any help you could give us in moving in would be much appreciated. Thank you.


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